official-boyfriend:

im a person who wants to do lots of things trapped inside a body that wants to SLEEP at all times

meanborderline:

Everyone I Have Ever Spoken One Word To Hates Me And Wants Me Dead

rickyskaggs:

if i feel an emotion one more time im gonna snap

earthdad:

7eggs:

earthdad:

i hate to say it but i’m just not a fan

of what

everything

asd-yuurikatsuki:

wolferen:

my mom has a friend who has a failed program-service dog and he’s literally my favorite creature

He’s a really smart lab, he learned all the commands, but he just has an affinity for doing them whenever he wants

So this lady’s dog literally turns on-off lights, opens doors, opens the fridge, etc… at his own wishes.

Her house looks like its baby-proofed, with kid safe locks on everything and stuff, but really she just has a dog that’s learned all the mobility service dog commands but has a mind of his own.

Chaotic Good Boy

aconnormanning:

tell ur dogs i said hi ok?

storyofthislife:

i want to live by the ocean but also in the forest but also in the mountains but also in a big city but also in the countryside u feel me

21seul:

I wonder what it feels like to know what the fuck is going on

xenosagaepisodeone:

my dad is the mc for my cousins wedding and him and my mom are doing some “marriage is the end…..am I right fellas?!” Type banter for the audience but then my grandpa gets up in the middle of it and yells “no!!! You have to be nice to your wife all the time!!! All the time!!”

yellew:

*falls behind in life* haha the lag

ostracizedpoodle:

storyofthislife:

why are breakfast dates not  a more popular thing? like forget your 9pm fancy dinner reservation, lets go eat pancakes at 9am in our pjs

I will never wake up before noon for a man

bepeu:

me: it was just a dream

me (internally): .. or prophecy ..